Cat Eye
by DarkDefender89
Summary: So,as it turns out,Bella has a secret too:she's a WERECAT! The PROBLEM: Edward has no clue!What happens when Bella is prowling the same woods Edward hunts in..in her CAT FORM? Two families,so much to lose,so much to be afraid of: will it be Romeo & Juliet
1. Introductions

**Cat Eye**

**Summary:** So, as it turns out, Bella has a secret too. She's a werecat. The problem? Edward doesn't know it. What happens when Edward is hunting and sees a black panther-like cat for what it seems to be, a black panther-like cat?

(Takes place before Bella finds out Edward's secret.)

**1.**

Forks, Washington was one of the only free territories. So here I was, Bella Swan, one of the last remaining female werecats, evading my duty. Father wanted me to train to replace him as an Alpha; I had other ideas. So the Pride let me move, under one condition – I had to live with my older cousin, Charlie, a wildcat. Father wanted me to marry Marc, the stray that became one of daddy's best enforcers, but arranged marriage is _so _not this century.

So here I am, a junior at Forks High school, thrust into a world I expected to be simpler than the complicated world that I was so used to living every day. My father is not only the alpha of the Pride, but was also the head of the Territorial Council. There were only three rules, all punishable by death: infecting a human and thus creating a stray, revealing the existence of werecats to a human, and killing a human. I had no plans of doing any of the above.

The first time I saw Edward Cullen was in the cafeteria. I could feel his golden eyes piercing my eyes. He was staring at me. I shifted in my seat, ignoring the words of the humans I was sitting with. I saw the most brilliant, beautiful boy I had ever seen. Even then, I was dazzled. He had scruffy, bronze hair and the most amazing golden hazel eyes. His skin was as white as untainted snow. He was slim, but clearly muscular.

At the time, I ignored the fact that his scent was neither human nor werecat. Everything about him fascinated me. It turned out that he was in my biology class, too. His distant, antisocial behavior alarmed me, but it did not faze me. His body was rigid; his hands were curled up into fists. If anything, it drew me in. I needed to know more. I know I ran away (kind of) from the family ranch to escape the paranormal, but all at once none of that mattered one bit.

I tried to introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Bella Swan," I said. Whatever was up with his scent – which I noticed, as I mentioned earlier, was not normal – I wondered if he sensed anything different about my scent. No matter, whatever he was, whatever I was….it didn't matter. Maybe he would pass it off as nothing. Hopefully, at least. I don't know _what_ Father would do if he found out that someone who isn't a werecat found out the family secret.

"Edward Cullen," he said.

So, that was the first time we met. It sure as hell wouldn't be the last…

**To be continued…**

**(I know it's short; sorry; this is just an introduction and I have to leave for karate in 10 minutes so I can't write any more than this right now!)**

_Love,_

_~Calliope-Elizabeth_


	2. You Won't Find ME Kissing a Human

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; S Meyers does; and I don't own the werecats I mention…Rachel Vincent does…so yeah the werecat characters come from the series Stray, Rogue, and Pride. You should read them I swear they're awesome!

**Ch.2**

I said goodbye to Charlie and hopped into my red truck that Charlie's friend, Billy Black, gave me. Looking back, it's funny that Charlie and Billy were friends – not that they knew each other's secrets – but cats and dogs aren't supposed to get along. Anyways, I had no clue about the Blacks at the time, and I was in for the shock of my life. But don't let me get ahead of myself. Maybe you want a little background…hmm, why am I really in Forks, you might wonder? Well, a year ago, my older sister, Faythe, defeated a bunch of jungle cats from the Amazon and now is an enforcer with Marc (okay, okay, I lied about the whole arranged marriage thing…my rents were always pressuring _one _of us to end up with Marc and I didn't want it to be me…) and the rest of the boys. She got off with a warning after she was finally able to prove the partial shift, thus confirming that infecting Andrew was a complete, unexpected accident.

I was glad to be far away from all of that chaos, anyways. I parked my truck in the parking lot and slung my black backpack behind my shoulder and walked into Forks High school. A boy named Mike walked up to me.

"Hello, you want to hang out?" he asked. I could tell what he was doing; no way was I going to allow myself to make the same mistake as Faythe. What if I ended up being able to do the whole partial shift thing? There was no way I was going to risk _that_ happening. I don't think Mike wants to be a werecat. Besides, I was curious about that Cullen boy…Edward, is it? And, yes, I know what curiosity did to the cat.

"Not really," I mumbled.

"Why not?" Mike asked, pouting. I felt kind of bad for hurting his feelings, but Mike was seriously an Andrew clone, albeit several years younger (my sister is 23; thus, her mistake was around the same age as her. Unfortunately, he's dead now. He tried to kill her (I know, funny how that worked out, but you would be enraged, too, if your girlfriend turned you into a werecat and you didn't know that it was an accident…and a psychotic jungle cat was the only one who comforted you during your change, constantly feeding you lies, turning you against human emotions, and all those you loved for that matter…), and she killed him in self-defense.

"It's complicated, Mike. I'm sorry, I really am," I said, sighing. I heard footsteps behind me, and I spun around and saw Edward Cullen, bronze hair, golden eyes and all. I was in awe. He had me dazzled. Yesterday he was acting so antisocial, and I was determined to find out the reasons behind his cold actions. I stared into his eyes, and his body went rigid and there was a haunted look in his eyes. It looked like he was in pain.

He stormed into the front office, and I realized that he was trying to transfer out of the biology class he had with me. Did he hate me that much? What did I do to him? I was sweating; I was frustrated. My dark, wavy hair fell over my left eye and I stared at the tile floor, studying the archaic patterns, thinking about how messed up my life was. How free it would feel, to run free with the wind….I had to find a place I could shift without any humans seeing me. I missed it already.

Edward stomped out of the front office, looking even more frustrated than before. Before, I felt angry that he hated me this much. Now, I felt guilty. What did I do to make Edward this angry? Edward was an angel. Well…he looked like an angel, so beautiful, so pure and….this was wrong, so freaking wrong….I knew that I couldn't make the same mistake as Faythe made, but I was haunted by Edward's every move. I needed to look at him. I needed him. But he was human, and I was a werecat….

If only I knew how wrong I was….

**To Be Continued…**


	3. Change is in the Air

**Sorry it took me so long to update! Unfortunately I have so much on my mind and so much schoolwork that I haven't completed…I have to research an article on deviance and critique it; I have to memorize 20 new Chinese charcters; and I have to finish my original story for my fiction writing class (the last one's not so hard lol….hen hao….)**…**anyways so its 1:36 a.m. and I'm bored because no food places are open (wo xihuan fan…..)…**

**Ok, on with the story….**

**Ch.3**

**EPov**

At first, I hated Bella Swan. I didn't notice anything different about her scent, primarily because it smelled so delicious…'no, stop, bad Edward,' I chided myself. Yes, Bella Swan was my singer. I told Carlisle about it, and somehow, Alice convinced me to stay. I wasn't sure if Alice was telling the truth when she said everything would be okay. I couldn't read Bella's mind….which seriously frustrated me….so how do I know whether or not Alice can see Bella's future.

She was beautiful. I don't deserve anyone so beautiful. I was standing by my prized silver Volvo when, through Alice's mind, I saw the darkest vision ever. A dark van was spinning towards Bella, who was standing by her musty red truck. _'Not her,'_ I thought, cringing. Forgetting about all of the rules – and not thinking about who may or may not see me – I ran (as fast as I could, which is fast) towards Bella and pulled her out of the deranged path of death. The van continued to lunge for her; it seemed to be a fiery monster hiding out as a truck with a…human boy…Eric….inside of it…. '_Not Bella_,' Edward thought, using his hand to propel the van away from Bella. The van halted to a stop, leaving a dent in the van.

"How did you do that?" Bella asked.

"I was right next to you," I insisted. She hit her head…maybe I could convince this beautiful angel to believe me. It was a windy, overcast day. I sudden gale of wind brought Bella's tantalizing scent towards me and my throat burned and my stomach twisted internally. I held my breath, cutting off my lungs from the sweet air passageway. It felt uncomfortable, but it was possible. I forced myself to smile. I will not kill Bella Swan.

"No you weren't," Bella insisted. "But that's okay." Huh? What was with Bella and her cryptic comments? Then again, I speak in riddles just as much. But I have a good reason – I am a vampire. I harbor a deadly secret. I cannot ever give in. I cannot ever let my guard down.

The medics tried to get me to go to the hospital, but I insisted that I was fine. To my complete horror, Bella insisted that she was fine also.

"I'm fine," she said to a blond woman wearing a dark blue cap, one of the medics. "See? I'm standing. I'm not dizzy." Bella walked away from the scene, dragging me with her. What? _Bella _dragging _me_?

"You hit your head," I said. For some reason, I felt protective towards this human girl.

"I can't go to the hospital," Bella insisted with a stubborn tone, as if she were a meek kitten that thought it was a tiger. If only I knew…I could have prevented so much. But I did not know that at the time. In Bella, I saw a stubborn, fragile human who refused to shy away from me. Her reactions disturbed me; at the time, I reasoned, shouldn't she be scared of me? Why does it seem like she is fascinated by me? Why am I fascinated by her? Why is she _doing_ this to me?

"Yes you can," I said.

"I'm not going, and you can't make me," Bella said.

**BPov**

"I'm not going, and you can't make me," I said. As much as it hurt to turn away from Edward, I forced myself to do just that. I walked away from Edward, and as soon as I out of eyesight, I ran faster than any human could. Looking back, I made sure no one saw me. I closed my eyes, wincing as my past blasted me through my almond shaped, brownish-yellow eyes. Races with Marc, Jace, and Ethan. Ryan deserting our family and betraying Faythe. My eyes were a window. I tried not to think about any of it. I tried not to think of the humans I hated because of their trivial thoughts. They took their lives for granted. Jessica and Mike particularly got on my nerve. It didn't made sense. They had everything anyone could ever dream of…and they were normal.

You have to understand, I tend to get restless from time to time. I leave my thoughts stranded. My mind is a desert, and I am lost at sea. I am trapped in a world that I do not understand and this is what I was given: paws. I love it, sometimes more than I should. I love the thrill of hunting, as painful as shifting is. It is, in a way, meditation.

Marc is a stray. Don't get me wrong – we all love him. None of us treated him as a stray. When he was fourteen, a vicious werecat killed his mom. Marc got in the way, trying to defend his mom, and the werecat scratched Mac's chest through his paper-thin t-shirt. Not all humans make it through scratch fever. Most die. Those who survive are ostracized by the cat word – they must stay in the free zones. They are social outcasts: their humanity was ripped from them, but they were not born werecats. I have the genetics; I am not stubborn. My father took Marc in. I was a child at the time; so was Faythe. Sometimes we forget that Marc is a stray. We don't treat him like a stray – we treat him like he is a genetic werecat. Even though I don't love him, I do miss him. I hope Faythe comes to her senses soon. I understand his pain. I was never ostracized, but here in Forks, I feel that way. This was my choice, and I don't regret it. This is my independence streak, my rebellion. Sometimes I miss my family. Sometimes I miss my Pride (A/N: Pride is the same thing as Pack but cats use Pride).

The next day it is sunny. The weather is too nice out to surpass a chance to sneak away in my cat form. I'm sure Charlie won't care if I skip school one day – he won't even know. Charlie isn't a curious cat; that's probably why he's safer than most of the toms I know. I stare out my window and watch the reds, oranges, and yellows collide. Even today, I am mesmerized by every sunrise. I hop out of my bed and pry my window open with my long nails. I jump out of my window and land in a crouch, my lithe limbs practically buried in tall, itchy green grass.

Today feels different. I can sense it in my bones. Something right will happen today. Something is changing in the air; I can sense it. I don't know what, and I don't know how. Actually, I bet I'm just fooling myself. I think the same thing every day. "Something's going to change," I say, but nothing ever does.

One thing I want you to know, I love being a werecat. Never doubt that. I am not a lost runaway. I am not in Forks to shelter myself from the weird. I do not wish I was human…sometimes, I hate humans. No, that's not true. It's just that I love fur and I'm damn fond of claws.

This is when I realize I am still wearing my pajamas, and it is 6 a.m. in the morning. Reluctantly, I climb back up the wall and pry my window open. I clamber back into my room and sigh. I wish I didn't have to stay with Charlie. It would be cool to live in the forest, in my cat form….

…the wild calls me. It sings to me. When I was little, I was a wild child. I still am a wild child. The only difference is, I'm not a child. I'm seventeen. Time passes slowly, sitting in my bedroom reading my favorite novel, _Tess of D'Urbervilles_ by Thomas Hardy. I have read it fifty-some times and it never gets old. I pick up the warn-out, over read paperback and read the lyrical passages fondly, anticipating the bittersweet end. Death, oh death. Everything ends in death. I smile, accepting who I am, what I am. I am an animal, and animals die.

"Good morning, Charlie," I say, running down the stairs, smiling. It is 8 a.m. I open the starch white refrigerator and find myself holding a stale bagel. I would much rather eat a wild deer. I put the bagel back and grab a raspberry yogurt. The shift is painful, and takes a lot of energy – if I want to hunt today, then I can't skip breakfast. Ironic, huh?

"How are you finding Forks High school so far?" Charlie asks.

"Its fine," I say, sitting down at the round Oakwood table, taking the silver seal off of my yogurt. I sprint to the silverware drawer to grab a spoon and then I feast on my yogurt – a prelude to a bigger feast. I think about the unknown. I smile. It has been too long, too long. Today is going to be _fun_.

**To Be Continued…**

**Okay, I wasn't going to leave it there but it would take me three more days, so I decided to break it here for now and turn the second half into chapter four. **

**Please review?**

_much love,_

_~Calliope-Elizabeth_


	4. The Hunt

**A/N: Alice can't see Bella because she's not, and hasn't ever been, a werecat.**

**4.**

**BPov**

I put my red truck into reverse, backing out of the driveway. As I drove, my radio was on, but I was not really listening. Other things were taking over my mind, slowly conquering me, turning me into a person I wasn't exactly sure I wanted to be. I drove on, listening intently to the austere blend of the harsh wind and the music drumming in the background. I closed my eyes and let the music flow into my ears, allowing myself to analyze this new desire that was invading my body. The voice on the radio said, "_Bend me, break me, anyway you need me, all I want is you._" I recognized the song – "Paranoid," by Garbage – a song I usually found annoying. For some odd, unexplainable reason, I found myself liking the song. I changed the station and sped up. Driving fast cleared my head, or at least it gave me the illusion of a clear head. The radio said, "I want to scream, it makes me feel alive." I sang along with the voice on the radio – Avril's voice – "I'd rather be anything but ordinary please. To walk with in the lines would make my life so boring. I want to know that I have been to the extremes." I swerved on the road, and, frustrated, changed the channel. I don't want to be extraordinary. I am, and it's annoying. At least, I _think _that this is what I want. I slowed down and concentrated on driving safely. I pretended that I was just a normal girl. That was why I moved to Forks, right? Why did I feel like something else was pulling the strings, that I'm not the one sitting in the front seat steering my car away from my safety line?

Who am I kidding? When have I ever had a safety line? The voice on the radio said, "I can see that you got other plans for tonight, but I don't really care. Tick tock, no time to rest. Let them say what they want to say but tonight, I just don't really care. Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever, let me show you all the things that we could do. I know you want to be together and I want to spend the night with you, yeah yeah, with you. Come with me tonight, we could make the night last forever." I smiled. For some reason the lyrics of the Veronicas' new song made me think of Edward. It was time to admit it to myself: I was attracted to Edward. No, calling what I feel for Edward an "attraction" is an insult to the real feeling. I am…fascinated by Edward, I am drawn into him…something about me pulls me in, and I am a cat, I can't just _ignore_ it.

Pushing the thought out of my mind, I speed up. My eyes widen when I finally reach the edge of the forest. Smiling, I forget everything. The woods sing to my bones, and my limbs shiver. They ache with the need to shift; the ache with the allure of sprinting across the forest, climbing the trees, maybe, my dark black fur hidden by the leaves tangled in with the leaves of the tree. Then I would pounce, landing on an unsuspecting deer, devour his flesh. It had been ages since I had eaten a fresh meal. Well, maybe not _ages_, but I haven't shifted since I arrived at Forks, which, being completely honest, I could tell you that it is making me _insane. _Pushing my fantasy out of my head, I parallel park my car on the side of the road and unbuckle my seatbelt, excited about the prospect of making my fantasy become an unbridled reality.

I turn the engine off and step out of my car, slamming the door behind me. I stare with awe at the tall trees, a maze of wild life just waiting for me. It is my instinct to explore. I slink into the forest and slip off my red satin shirt. My bra comes off next, then my torn, gray Forever 21 jeans. I bend down, untying my shoelaces. I take my shoes off, throwing them behind me with a force no human could ever be capable of. I chuckle; relieved that today was not a day that humans decided to hike in the forest. I take off my socks first, then my black panties. I close my eyes and meditate, willing the shift. I allow the cat inside me to take over. My bones begin to shift, and if I hadn't been doing this since I was ten years old, I would have winced from the throbbing pain that spread throughout my body. My chin ached as my jaw lengthened. My canines grew, piercing my changing body. I will the change to continue. Soon, the shift arrived at the point where most werecats couldn't reverse it if they wanted to. I force a smile. A couple minutes later, I stretch my new body, adjusting myself to my new bones; adjusting myself to the vivid view of the forest that my cat eyes allowed me to see.

I take off in a sprint, enjoying myself, and observing my surroundings. I smell water in the distance. My cat ears pick up the sound of water gurgling. I can hear the fish underneath the water playing with each other, and wonder what it would be like to be a fish. All at the same time, I am glad I am a cat. I sprint in the direction of the sound of the water. Us cats, we hunt with our ears. Dogs, they hunt with their noses, but although I have enhanced smell, I could not track based on scent even if my life depended on it. I grinned, my sharp, white teeth exposed. I placed my paw in the water, loving the sensation. I bent down and grabbed one of the little fishies with my mouth – a russet colored fish with black-ish brown stripes. I purred and bit down on the fish's flesh, swallowing it whole.

I stepped out of the stream and ran. I remembered that back at home, I beat my brothers and cousins every time we had a race. Faythe was the only one who could beat me, and even _she_ lost, sometimes. I surrendered my senses to the forest. Today was about relaxation. Today was about drowning my emotions, letting the carnal, cat part of me run free. Cats hate being encaged, and, in some ways, human society was a cage. I was here to take time off. This was a vacation from being all too observant. There wasn't anything in this forest that could harm me (or so I thought). I climbed up a tree and pounced onto a dark green bush, extending my paws and experimenting with the sensation. I wasn't thinking – I was exploring. So that was why I didn't recognize anything out of the ordinary. That was why I didn't recognize an unusual scent, something that should have alarmed me. I wasn't completely there – I was at the point of no return, lost in the sensation.

Too fast for me to do anything about it, a tall, pale figure rushed towards me. In my panic of not wanting to reveal myself to humans – after all, my sister Faythe was threatened with death (and I knew that the tribunal court would not be lenient just because I'm a tabby) – I thought nothing of his alarming speed. I didn't look up at his hair, at his eyes. I would have known who he was, and I might have reacted differently. I might not have defended myself when he attacked me. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was on all fours, playing with the grass, swatting a fly when he sped towards me. He leaped…no, pounced…onto my back with such a ferocity that made me realize that he was not human. When his body collided with my black, furry body, I could actually feel the impact. My instincts woke up. As his cold hands gripped my neck, he bent his head down towards my neck, and, with a sense of abandon, bit me. Instinctually, I swatted my paw at him without thinking of unsheathing my paws. A burning pain gripped my body, and I was in too much pain to even think about defending myself and still trying to preserve the life of my attacker. Before I swatted him a second time, however, I twisted my body out of his grip. What I saw alarmed me. I saw the shocked face of Edward Cullen – his beautiful bronze hair, his golden eyes, his flawless skin – as he slid to the ground after I wrestled free of his grip.

The burning pain increased. I didn't want to shift back in front of a human – no, there was no way that Edward could be human. Like I was saying, I didn't want to shift back, but the fiery pain that was coursing through my body was too much. The burning pain mixed with the pain of the shift and soon I found myself on the floor of the forest, naked and exposed, vulnerable.

**EPov (A/N: this backs up to before it happens…I wanted to go through Edward's reaction throughout the whole thing before going further. I figured most people would want to read that; I know I would!)**

It was a normal day, or, as normal as a day could be for a vampire. Emmet, Rosalie and I were going hunting. It was a sunny day, so we couldn't go to school. Alice and Jasper chose to stay behind and, well…enjoy each others' company, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I wonder if Alice's presence would have made things happen differently; if Rosalie would have acted the way she did if Alice was there to bear witness to her outbreak. Of course, I deserved it. Everything Rosalie said was true. Okay, not _everything_.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Where was I, now? Oh yeah, we were standing by the car.

"Are you sure you don't want to come, Alice?" Emmet asked, grinning. Emmet always grins. If I didn't know better, I would say that that grin of Emmet's was frozen onto that bulky face of his.

"I'm sure," Alice replied, sounding like she was singing. Then again, Alice always sounded like she was singing. All of us did, of course, but Alice did more than the rest of us.

"Hurry up, Emmet," Rosalie said, peering into the car window, trying to glimpse her reflection in the tainted glass. Of course, we could run to the forest, but then humans would see us. We didn't want to expose the secret, but even if we could care less, we couldn't risk anyone seeing us. Some way or another, the Volturi would find out, and the Volturi doesn't give second chances.

Soon the three of us were in my silver Volvo. I was driving – my car was my baby, after all – and I was driving at around 110 miles per hour. In no time, we arrived at the forest. We stepped out of my silver Volvo and ran into the forest, surrendering to our instincts.

We don't hunt side by side – our vampire instincts would get in the way. We would end up fighting over prey – it has happened before. So we part our ways and I start hunting. I pounce on a deer, breaking its neck before indulging in its blood in order to minimize the poor creature's pain. The blood doesn't taste as good as grizzly bear blood, or _mountain lion _blood….oh, how I wish there was a mountain lion roaming the woods for me to feast on…but it was enough to temporarily satiate me. The deer fell to the ground and I stepped backwards, licking my bloody lips. I sniffed the air. Large cat, a couple miles south. I grinned. It might not be mountain lion, but it was close enough.

I hadn't hunted for weeks. If I hadn't been a slave to my instincts at the time – almost – as I am when I surrender my instincts to the hunt – I might have noticed a subtle difference in the cat's scent. I didn't notice any difference, though. I sprinted in the direction of the cat's scent, and, without even thinking, I pounced on the black cat, digging my fingernails into its fur and biting its next. I wasn't surprised when the cat swatted at me, but I was surprised when I actually felt pain. The cat's claws actually broke through my hard, granite flesh. Before I had the time to think, '_This is no ordinary cat,' _the cat twisted out of my grip and stared at me with wide, brownish yellow eyes.

Then the cat started changing. I was reminded of the Quiulettes and my dead heart sank. A minute later, a naked human was lying on the ground, gripping her neck. I forced myself out of hunting mode, both shocked and utterly repulsed at myself for the act I had just committed.

No, not just any ordinary human. _Bella Swan._

I fell to my knees and held my head in my hands. 'I should have noticed something different about her scent,' I scolded myself. I am such a despicable creature, a monster. I felt the instinct to hold her, protect her, but I was dangerous. She must hate me. I want her to hate me.

_Werecat._

Vampire venom is poisonous to the Quiulette werewolves. Is Bella going to die, outside of the ordinary connotation of the transformation that I equate to mean death?

I place my hand on her face, wanting to take away her misery, to take away the burning pain I know she is suffering through right now.

I find my voice. "I'm so sorry, so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated it, a mantra. I didn't even notice the throbbing pain in my left arm at the time. I brushed it away as something I deserved. I deserved it. I was a despicable creature. Bella will probably kill me, and I will let her. I want to die; I cannot forgive myself for such a despicable act. I should have been more careful. I should have noticed that she was a werecat. Of course, I had no way of knowing that werecats exist, but in my self-hatred and my guilt, I did not follow that logic. Just because I didn't know didn't make the act any less wrong.

That was how Rosalie and Emmet found me, on my knees, one hand on Bella's face, her naked body curled up in a fetal position. What they assumed, they had every right to assume.

"How could you?!?!?!?" Rosalie screeched. "Now we're going to have to move, and I was finally in my senior year?!?! How could you take away her humanity? Bella, the chief police's daughter? Have you lost your MIND?!?!!? And why is she naked? Are you a succabre, Edward?"

I stared at the ground, counting the blades of grass, drowning in guilt and misery at the loss of this girl's humanity. I did not try to refute Rosalie's claims. She was wrong; of course, I did not have sex with Bella. But what else could they assume, seeing a naked girl clutching her neck, already in the throes of the transformation…or her death. I didn't know what was better; at the prospect of Bella leaving this earth my heart screamed, _'Not her! Please, not her!'_ She couldn't die. No. Werecats have to be different from werewolves. No, no, no, no. To an outsider, I probably looked catatonic, since vampires can't cry.

"Cat….werecat…" I whispered, picking up Bella's limp body.

"What?" Emmet asked.

"She was a cat. Why didn't I notice anything different about her scent? I should have known," I said, shifting my feet back and forth, completely absorbed by my self-hatred.

"How could you have known?" Emmet said, trying to reassure me. They believed me, of course, because, except for Carlisle, I had the most self-control out of my entire family. That didn't make me feel any better, though. It made me feel worse.

I realized that my left arm was aching, which made it a tiny bit hard to carry Bella, but I didn't care. Like I said, I deserved it. Emmet, of course, noticed.

"Your arm," Emmet said, a tad bit panicked (outside of the obvious panic that is called for during this sort of situation). "There's a claw mark on it," he said.

I shrugged. "I deserve it," I whispered, not looking into his eyes.

"Let me carry her, at least," Emmet said.

I shook my head, finding myself not wanting to trust Emmet, besides the fact that he's my brother and I usually trust him.

"Let's take her to the car. I'll call Alice and she can bring Bella an outfit," Emmet said.

**No Particular POV**

Knowing the truth didn't make Rosalie calm down. She still thought that they would have to move. Charlie was a werecat, though, and that changed things. Edward carried Bella to the car, hovering over her to hide her naked body from the public eye. Emmet and Rosalie followed close behind. Emmet dug in the trunk of Edward's car and grabbed a gray blanket. He tossed it towards Edward, who helped Bella to cover herself with the blanket.

Edward gently placed Bella into the back seat of the car and, almost like a zombie, entered the front seat of the car.

"I should drive. You look too upset," Emmet said.

Edward shook his head.

On the way home, Emmet called Alice on his cell phone, who was, for obvious reasons, frustrated that she hadn't seen this coming. She blamed herself for the recent turn of events.

"I don't know what vampire venom does to werecats," Edward whispered. "Remember how the Quiulettes said that vampire venom is fatal to werewolves?"

"Don't worry," Emmet said. "Werecats aren't werewolves."

But all of them were worried, nonetheless. Edward drove faster; he was in a hurry to get Bella to Carlisle so Carlisle can make sure everything works out, or at least the best it can in this situation. Sucking the venom out hadn't been a possibility at the time, because, other than the obvious of him being too close to his hunting instincts, Bella's body probably started to absorb the venom during the shift back to her human form.

At the time, Edward was too absorbed in his guilt that he didn't consider another potential difference between werewolves and werecats…

**Dun dun dun dun….**

**To Be Continued….**

_Love you all, sorry about the cliffie and the long wait; I really want to know if this chapter moves you, and if not give me advice about how to add more of Edward's masochistic nature to this and also the words, and all that. I waited so long on this chapter because I really wanted to write it right and I need to know if I did…_

_Tell me what you thinks gonna happen? Do you want what I hinted at happening (two different things) to happen? I already know how the plot is going but I would love to hear your opinion!_

_~Calliope-Elizabeth_


	5. Together We'll Find A Way

**A/N: hey guys! So here's the next chapter. I hope you're liking it so far. There are some…spoilers…in this chapter for the third book of Vincent's werecat series….just thought I should warn you just in case. In any case, if anything confuses you, just ask me in your review and I'll explain. After you read this chapter, PLEASE review. I would love feedback. Don't just tell me that you like it…I know there has to be flaws in it, somewhere; I'm not perfect and I really want criticism so I can make the story better. Of all of the stories I have written, this is the one I am most invested in.**

**Anyways, on with the story (=**

**Ch.5**

**BPov**

I didn't really know what was happening. It was a blur, rushing past me, zipping by me so fast that even if I wanted to catch it, I couldn't. The last thing I remembered was Edward pouncing on me. I know I should have blamed him; I should have been angry, anything. To tell the truth, I was more concerned about the fact that I scratched Edward. New research says that you have to have one recessive gene in order to become a stray, but there were a lot of strays in the world, and the research was new, and not everyone believed it. As for me, I didn't know what to believe. I was in a lot of pain, laying in the backseat of someone's car…Edward's, probably…but pain is something that I was used to. Pain, I can deal with. Even more, pain is a part of who I am. A burning sensation spreads through my veins, and a part of me is aware of an intense, biting pain. It is a different sort of pain than the pain that comes when my bones shift and my jaws elongate, but all the same it has a similar feel to it. Whatever is happening to my body, my instincts tell me where I am now is similar to the point in the werecat shift where it is too late to turn back.

I want to be angry at Edward, I really do. It's not even that I was dazzled by him my first day at Forks High school, although that _is_ true – I was. The pain, I can take, but the guilt that is exploding inside my heart is burning a hole in my soul. I want to believe that Edward is different; he was able to tackle me – when I was in my _cat_ form, even – surly there's something about him that will make him invulnerable to stray fever. When scratched by a werecat, one of two things happens: you die, or transform into a stray werecat.

I don't want Edward to die, but even if he already was different, I don't think he would want this. I am letting my mind wander…just like Faythe, I committed two out of the three capital crimes. The territorial council, not lead by our father at the time since Faythe was his daughter, had a hard time believing Faythe killed Andrew in self-defense. They gave in and gave her a warning and community service (which basically meant she was to be reinstated as one of her father's enforcers, except without pay), but even that pearl of hope came with a price: Malone ordered our father to have Marc exiled. Basically, Malone, who now is trying to take over my father's role as the leader, forced my father to choose between my sister and her boyfriend. Obviously, since Faythe is still alive, he chose Faythe. He can't go back on his word, either, because there is a hearing sometime in the near future. Malone hopes to usurp Gregory (my father)'s power.

And here I am, in the backseat of Edward's car. He struck me as strange boy from the beginning, and for some reason I was drawn in. Something about him – something underneath the skin, something I cannot even begin to comprehend – allured me. I don't know how I feel, outside of the obvious. I do not know what Edward is. He bit me, I realize. He bit me, but he must have thought I was an animal. I was in cat form, after all. What kind of creature looks like a human but bites people? Well, let's say, bites living things.

_Vampire_.

That's the only thing I can think of, and although it should make me shiver, it doesn't. I don't care – I'm a werecat, or was, after all. All of a sudden, as the thoughts course through my head, I panic. _'I love being a werecat!'_ my thoughts scream. '_This is my life, my fuel, my passion, my purpose. Why am I here, in Forks, while Malone is attempting to tear my family apart? What was I thinking? And why did it take a…crisis, I guess….for me to realize this?'_

I have to still be a cat. My body is changing, that I can tell. I am not stupid; I can make deductions. If Edward is a vampire, and he bit me, then the only logical conclusion is that I am turning into a vampire. I pray to God that I can still shift into my cat form. I think I would be devastated if I couldn't. In fact, I know that I would be devastated.

I am jumping to conclusions, though. I might be wrong. The car pulls up into the driveway and I can vaguely hear people shuffling their feet. A front door is opening, then a slamming noise. A sing-song voice of some sorts, a contrast to Edward's velvety voice. Gripped in the throes of the pain, I couldn't quite decipher the words the people I assumed must be the Cullens spoke. I heard the rumble of the car engine slowly die down as Edward was probably twisting his keys and pulling them out of the ignition. The door opened. Someone walked over…Edward, I think….and lifted me out of the back of the car.

"Do you have the clothes, Alice?" Edward asked.

The girl Edward was addressing smiled faintly. She had choppy black hair and snow white skin. She was pixie-sized. I vaguely recognized her from Forks High School, but the only Cullen I ever paid attention to was Edward. Besides, it had been what, a week since I started Forks High School?

"I have them, but we should take Bella inside first," Alice said.

**EPov**

"I have them, but we should take Bella inside first," Alice said. _'I don't think she would want to change her clothes outside,' _Alice thought. I grimaced. This was my fault. _'Don't blame yourself, how could you know? Why couldn't I see her? I should have seen this, Edward. I could have prevented it…it's my fault…'_ Alice thought.

"Alice, please don't blame yourself," I said, agitated but touched that Alice would attempt to take the blame. I wasn't going to allow her to ease my burden, however. It was me who tasted her blood. It was me, only me, who bit her. What was the point of saving her from a car accident…that she might not have needed saving from…and then almost kill her the very next day?

Alice opened the door and I carried her inside and gently placed her on the black leather sofa in the living room. Alice ran up to her room. She returned downstairs with a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. '_Only because I want her to be as comfortable as possible during the change,' _Alice thought, _'I can't see her future but I can sense that we're going to be best friends!'_

Alice carried Bella to the bathroom, blanket still wrapped around Bella's body. She helped Bella get dressed and then gently placed her on the couch. Edward instantly gravitated towards Bella's side, one hand tugging on his hair; the other hand limp by his side. The expression on his face spoke magnitudes – centuries of loss and grief, beauty thrown away, all of his inner-turmoil poured into this one girl, this girl he destroyed who is lying on the couch; this girl who is strong, but he doesn't know it. He looks at Bella's eyes and he sees in her everything that he isn't and everything that he knows he never can be. This is who he is now, what he is now – a vagabond, a wanderer of sorts, a monster. He has his place here, with his family, but at the same time he is alone. Something is tugging at him, always tugging at the emptiness that he constantly fears is lurking inside of his body. Who is he? He doesn't know. Who am I, he asks himself. Why did this happen; why am I a monster?

Bella closes her eyes; Edward hopes that she is asleep. He finds bittersweet solace in Bella's sleep – the pain will be hiding in a faraway place, someplace where she doesn't have to feel it. Unless she is dying, of course. She'll never know what's coming. Fall asleep and never wake up, what a sad, twisted way to go. What might have happened to him, but never can.

His arm is still stinging, but he pays no mind to it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the pain lurks. It does no matter…add it to the burning in his throat. Watch it dissolve; only it doesn't. He sees it as nothing. He doesn't pay attention. His guilt is tearing him apart, watching this angel of sorts drowning in pain that he is responsible for…pain that he _caused_.

"She'll be alright, you know," Alice says.

"How do you know?" Edward asks. Alice can't see Bella's future; they went over this before. "I thought you couldn't see her," Edward said. His words hung in the air, like stale bread. "Her future, I mean," Edward says.

"I couldn't," Alice says.

"Couldn't, as in past tense?" Edward asks.

Alice nods her head.

"Her future's blurry now, but I can see it," Alice says. Alice is counting the digits of pie in Chinese.

'Why are you counting in Chinese?' Edward thinks about asking, but he doesn't say that. He doesn't say anything – he sits at Bella's side, his head in his arms. He silently hopes that Alice is on to something; that Bella will be okay. 'Then she will hate me,' he thinks, but even that's alright, as long as she's alive – well, sort of alive.

"She will be alright, son," Carlisle says. "You had no way of knowing, son. It's not your fault."

But it is, Edward thinks. It really is.

"Let me look at your arm," Carlisle says.

Edward doesn't respond. Carlisle walks towards Edward, leaving space in between them. "My arm's fine," Edward finally says. It isn't, though, but when he did this to Bella, when Bella is going through a far worse pain, why should it matter? Why should he attend to himself? It hardly seems fair to Bella.

Alice is still thinking in Chinese.

'What are you hiding, Alice?' Edward thinks about asking. But he doesn't. He sits there, almost catatonic, hating himself for the events that transpired.

**To Be Continued….**


	6. Alice Of course

**6.**

**Ethan POV (Bella's brother)**

"You really want to send us to spy on her, just like you did with Faythe?" Ethan asked. He wasn't really questioning his father. Now that Marc was, regrettably, gone, Ethan was one of Gregory's best enforcers, and Ethan knew that he had to follow orders. There were more important issues on hand, though….his father's upcoming trial, of course, and other cat issues. Hopefully, there would be no more strays terrorizing foreign tabbies or Amazonian jungle cats raping Pride tabbies. Hopefully, but who knew what would come next? Life was crazy at the ranch, what with Bella gone and Faythe depressed and Jace making not-so-subtle advances towards Faythe, who politely declines him each time.

"Don't you care about your own sister, Ethan?" Gregory asked, mocking a shocked tone.

"Of course I care about Bella!" Ethan said.

"Then you know what to do," Gregory said.

Ethan sighed. Why did Bella have to pull a Faythe and leave the Pride, anyways? Bella should be here, where she belongs, training to be an enforcer. Not going to that red-neck high school and being watched by her unreliable, wildcat of a cousin Charlie. Who know what could happen. Ethan, Mark, and the others had taken turns spying on Faythe, of course, so this discussion had been inevitable. When push came to shove, privacy didn't matter that much to us werecats.

_bebebebebebbebebebebebebbebebebebebebbebebebebebebbebebebebebebbebebebebebebbe_

**BPov**

The pain continued to course through my body. My senses started to become clearer as the burning ravished my veins and tugged at my heart. As an outside observer, lying on the couch ignoring the pain and remaining frozen in my supine stance, I watched the Cullens interact with each other.

"Why can't I see you anymore, Edward?" Alice asked.

My eyes shifted to the left and I saw Edward kneeling on the floor at a 45 degree angle from the purple couch, his hands on the wooden table, his head tucked in and his arms hanging besides his waist.

"I'm right here, Alice," Edward said, his voice dragging on as if he was here but wasn't really here at all. There was something dismal, forlorn, about his voice.

"I mean your future," Alice said, her hands on her hips.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked.

"I mean it's blurry. I have no clue what I mean, Edward. It's always been, I either saw someone or I didn't. This is too weird," Alice said.

I had no clue what they were talking about…I guess seeing the future isn't that out of the realm of possibility, especially when you're dealing with vampires and werecats.

"Your arm, Edward. At least let Carlisle look at it," Alice said. His arm. The arm I scratched. I deserve the pain I'm in. No "self defense plea" could excuse this. No freaking way. Faythe was so desperate to live after condemning her human boyfriend to the werecat life and eventually killing him, but I was ready to give up on life. I didn't deserve to live, not like this. Not after what I did.

"I'm fine, Alice," Edward said.

"You're lying, Edward. I can tell that it is hurting you. I know you're trying to hide it, but you need to let Carlisle look at it," Alice said.

"I deserve the pain," Edward said, his voice coated with a heavy dose of self-hatred.

"That's not really what I meant," Alice said in a crystal clear voice, as if it were obvious. To me, it was.

"I don't get it, Alice. Why are you counting in Chinese? What is it you don't want me to know?" Edward asked, although there was no panic in his voice. Edward Cullen had no clue what was really happening to his body.

"I mean, you're future is blurry. Not blurry as if it were constantly changing. Blurry as in it is hard to see," Alice said.

"I don't get it," Edward said.

"But isn't it obvious?" Alice said.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked.

"Your arm," Alice said.

"My arm's fine," Edward insisted.

"No its not. Besides, I don't think it's just your arm," Alice said.

"Then what do you think it is?" Edward asked.

Alice stopped counting in Chinese. The two stared at each other, as if the room was frozen, and time had stopped.

Then I opened my eyes.

**To Be Continued…**


	7. Meet in The Middle, Yes?

**Yes, yes, I know, I was evil to keep you waiting for so long! I had so much on my mind, schoolwork, original fiction, et cetera, but I know that that is no excuse! I'm so sorry, but anyways here is the chapter you've all been waiting for! Please forgive me!!!**

**Ch.7**

_Previously on Cat Eye:_

"_I mean, you're future is blurry. Not blurry as if it were constantly changing. Blurry as in it is hard to see," Alice said._

"_I don't get it," Edward said._

"_But isn't it obvious?" Alice said._

"_What do you mean?" Edward asked._

"_Your arm," Alice said._

"_My arm's fine," Edward insisted._

"_No its not. Besides, I don't think it's just your arm," Alice said._

"_Then what do you think it is?" Edward asked._

_Alice stopped counting in Chinese. The two stared at each other, as if the room was frozen, and time had stopped._

_Then I opened my eyes._

Current Time

I sat up on the soft couch and took in my surroundings. 'I don't think it's just your arm,' Alice had said. Her words haunted me. My body shook, furious at myself for allowing this to happen. There was something off in the jumbled scents that lurked in the air. My nose was attacked with a horde of scents that were so strong, so intense, that if I didn't know any better I would suspect I was currently in my cat form. That's it, although that is not the only thing that plagues my mind. No, my haunts are far worse; I have committed the unforgivable. Either way, though, I am struck with the stark contrast of the HD-like images I am used to when prancing around the forest in my cat form – no, everything is clearer, to the slightest degree, than I have ever experienced. So this is what is different, I tell myself. In my mind there is the confusion I feel about the pale, Greek Goddess pales in comparison to the gravity of what is happening right now. Edward is different, no doubt. _Was different, _even before by, perchance the chain of events, I happened to scratch him. What would happen to him now, even I had no clue. Was Edward Cullen transforming into a werecat? Even if he was, I had no clue how to aid him through the process. I had never watched the transformation take place, and even if I had, I expected that it would happen differently as far as Edward Cullen was concerned. _Everything _ was different as far as Edward Cullen was involved.

All of a sudden (no, that's not even true, it had been there all along), an unfamiliar, painful sensation struck me. My throat felt dry, as if fiery flames were constantly licking it and banishing any and all liquids from alleviating the drought. Almost as an instinctual response, my right hand flew up to my throat and rubbed the pale flesh. I stared at the flesh of my hand with blatant disgust. Look at how pale, how deathly snow white, how fragile, it looked. I must have made some sort of sickening expression on my face because as soon as I looked up again seven beautiful, pale figures were by my side, staring at me with soft, mournful expressions on their obviously distraught faces.

"Hello," I said, and it felt silly, to say 'Hello,' what a simple phrase, one word, and how out of place it seemed. For some reason it felt like I knew these people, like they were family, my ancestors, even. I was plagued with contrasting emotions towards these beautiful people. 'They did this to me!' I was screaming inside. 'They are monsters, get me out of here!' At the same time, I wanted to place my hand on their breast bone, that tiny, pixie-like one with the dark black hair – that frown on her angelic face, the sharp contrast between how I suspected she usually acted and how depressed she was right now…I felt like running up to her, whispering soft words, 'It's okay, how could you know?' The words taunted my parched lips… 'My sister, please smile.'

And the one hunched in the corner, his arms wrapped around his weary body, the dark, never fading scratch mark all too visible…the way he hides his face, the way his dark bronze hair almost appears blood-stained in the odd angle the light shines on his head… 'Edward…' No more words plague my mind. What else can I say? The obvious words assault my senses and I find that I must say them.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, so sorry…" the words rush out of my mouth. They carry such a velvety, sing-song quality that I am not used to, and within seconds I am by the huddled angel's side. "Edward…" I whispered. I placed my hand on his shoulder and for some reason this feels awkward. I cannot find inside me the rage that I suspect I am supposed to be feeling.

His words came, yes, they did. "You're sorry? I'm the one who attacked you…" he said, and his words were tainted with such powerful self-hatred, guilt strong enough to lead one to self-induced death.

"But I scratched you…" I whispered. Saying the words out loud would make it real. But it was real no matter.

I stood up and held my hand out for Edward. After a moment of awkward silence, I found my voice. "What are you?" I asked. "You're different, a normal human couldn't have attacked that large of a cat, not and survived to tell the tale. And the pain I was in, different than the shift back to my human form, I am sure some sort of change took place; I can sense my body is different now." I was sure that I should not be this calm and collected, but nevertheless I was; it was a part of who I was that I would not relinquish; not now, not ever.

"Vampire," Edward whispered, confirming my fear. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for condemning you to this half-life," he said.

A short, bubbly figure bounced in between us, finally smiling. "Nonsense!" she said, smiling, revealing her sharp, perfectly white canines. "My name is Alice, and you must be Bella! We're going to be great friends! And this is perfect! It's like you met in the middle!"

"What?" I said, taking her hand, smiling awkwardly. I looked from Edward's pale face to Alice's perfectly calm golden eyes and wondered what Alice was talking about. I knew that Edward was probably, in whatever way it was possible, turning into some sort of werecat, maybe a hybrid, I don't know.

"I see the future, silly!" Alice said. "I couldn't see yours at all, but now it's blurry! Edward's future is blurry two but you guys are going to…"

Before Alice could get the words out, Edward had jumped up and covered Alice's mouth with his hands.

Breaking away, Alice sighed. "Okay, okay, I won't tell her. But you can't fight fate forever." I wondered what Alice was talking about, but I decided not to let it bother me that much.

"We have another problem, though," I said.

"What?" Alice asked.

I took a deep breath, despite the fact that an uneasy feeling that I didn't need to breathe overcame me, and I said, "When my sister, Faythe, left my Pride to go to college, my family sent Enforcers to spy on her. I am not that convinced that they haven't been spying on me, as I am the Alpha's youngest daughter. Also, it is a crime to infect a human and I will probably be punished…when Faythe accidently infected her human boyfriend, she was threatened with death but ended up getting off on community service. I don't think my family knows about you guys…"

"The werewolves know…" the heavy, dark haired one, who I later found out to be Emmett, said.

"Werewolves really exist?" I asked surprised. "I knew that bruins existed, but werewolves, I had no clue."

"What are bruins?" Emmett asked.

"Basically, shape-shifters who shift into the form of a bear," I said, and Emmett jumped up and down and did this crazy, excited dance.

'Ooookay,' I thought, partially disturbed by Emmett's childish behavior.

"Anyways, I don't know what they do when they find out," I said, hesitantly.

"Then we don't let them find out," the skinny, blond haired one (Jasper) said.

"I don't think that's all that possible. They won't just let it go, and it wouldn't be easy to make them think I'm dead, because it's not that easy to kill me. I mean, before this happened, also. They would suspect another werecat did it, and they wouldn't give up searching until they found who was responsible. I don't think we can hide from the truth," I said.

And that was what I feared; what I would always both fear and love: my family, my Pride, my homeland, my culture. I hold onto it now with such a feeble, half-hearted grip, and I do not know who I am or where I am in this world, except that my name is Bella and that now I must be some sort of cross between a vampire and a werecat, and that soon Edward Cullen will be, as well.

What is happening to my world?

**To Be Continued….**


	8. This Is Not Me

**A/N: I know I switch between past and present tense but I do that on purpose for a poetic effect.**

**8.**

"You need to hunt," Edward said.

"What? You mean drink blood?" I asked bluntly.

"Yes. Stop worrying about the future so much. We can talk about these things later," Edward said.

I sighed and looked around the room. The burning in my throat has been continuously increasing. I tried to take my mind off of it, to no avail, of course. "Why does my throat burn?" I asked.

"That's the thirst," Edward said. "You need to hunt. It will help."

I walked over to the couch, hesitant. I didn't want to kill anybody. Why did they bite me, though? Why would they bite a large cat? _Oh_. It suddenly dawned on me, they must hunt animals. But what if animals weren't the only thing they hunted and Edward simply had an affinity for large cats? I buried my head in my hands, ashamed of the predicament I found myself in. So this is what it is to be a vampire, to live like a parasite, feeding off the life-force of living, breathing beings…killing them. Destroying them. I didn't think I could do it. To kill a human, that would be impossible. To kill an animal, though….to kill something that I _am_ half of the time? Such a task, such a task seems so unreachable.

'But is it really all that different?' a silent roaring from a deep abyss inside my body asked me. 'Is it that different from hunting in your cat form, feeding off of the meet of wild deer?' Yes, it's different, I wanted to scream. Those deer, they died instantly; they never had to suffer. What must it be like, I wondered, to have all of your blood drained from your body? What a slow and painful process that must be.

But it wasn't that different. And damn it, the burning in my throat was so damn _painful_. And not the same kind of pain as the shift from human to cat. No, this was far worse. "I guess," I whispered.

"I will go with you," Edward said.

"No," Alice jumped in. "You stay here, let me and Jasper take her. Emmet should come too, in case she loses control."

Lose control? What are they talking about?

"Hello, I'm right here," I said, expressing my mild annoyance with the tone of my voice. My eyes wandered across the room, and after a moment I decided to let it go.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunting. I've used that word before, used it with cheery reflection upon waiting upon my werecat brothers as we roamed the forests together, often racing each other. This is different.

Alice showed me what to do. It was weird watching someone who looked so _tiny_ and _fragile_ leap across the river, speed through the forest and pounce on an unsuspecting grizzly bear. She looked like someone right out of a mental institution. I grinned, following Alice's example. I had always loved to run, and the thrill of running, the wind gently tugging at my soft hair, the water gurgling in anticipation for my silent feet, did not change with my transformation. I still loved it. It still released me, soothed me. I was one with the forest. _I am the forest._ I leaped over the river, just like Alice before me, and, experimenting with my newfound agility, I attempted doing a flip in the air. I landed on my two feet in a bird-like stance and I grinned.

What was that I smelled, that _thing_ lurking in the heavy air that taunted my senses and made my throat cringe with fire? I followed the scent and soon came face to face with a grizzly bear, and I pounced on the grizzly bear. It felt like someone else was in my body, or I was in my cat form, except that I was not, this was a skinny dark haired girl who probably appeared to weigh no more than 100 pounds, and here she is twisting a wild beast's neck, piercing her teeth into its warm flesh, and what is this divine substance pouring down my throat and devouring the flames?

I fall to the ground and stare at the lifeless beast, the _bear_; I stare, in hidden agony, at its beautiful, matted fur. I feel like I should be crying when I see the blood stains on the dead bear's dark fur. Some form of emptiness clings to my core, and I realize that the divine substance that was pouring down my throat was _blood_ and that my throat has already burst into flames, all over again, and what is this, some repetitive, unmerciful cycle?

Edward is right, maybe he is right, I could see it in his eyes that he thinks that this is hell on earth.

I stand up and with one hand push the dead beast aside me and I push aside my grief, after all, I have killed before, yes for food, and I guess this is my food now.

I stalk my prey and let the blood flow down my throat.

"Are you done?" Alice asked.

"We were lucky," I heard Emmet mumbling. I wonder, what did he mean?

"Yes," I said, staring at the ground.

And then we return to Alice's house, the Cullens' house, and I wonder how things will work out, dreary they must be, am I right? There is still so much I have to worry about; so much that will never make sense.

And is this me, walking side by side angelic figures, what a deceiving allure; is this me, exiting the forest and wiping my feet at the doorstep, walking into a house not filled with a bunch of rowdy, hormonal cats? Is this me?

I guess it is, I realized, and maybe, just maybe, I don't really know who _'me'_ is anymore.

So tell me, please…is this me? Because I can't help but feel like I'm watching everything play out, as it is, so far away, so distant, so unreal. I am not the main character, am I? I am walking off the stage, meandering into someone else's life. This is not me.

This is me. This is not me.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	9. This Pain Will Save Me, Yes? No?

**I seriously don't know why it always takes me so long to update! From now on, after this story, I'm going to write the whole story before I post anything! I feel so bad!**

**9.**

**Ethan's POV (if you don't remember from an earlier chapter, Ethan is one of Bella's brothers)**

The drive to Forks was long and boring. Let's face it, we all miss Marc – in so many ways, he held the family together, and now he's just _gone_. Plain and simple, gone. That's all they had to do to tear us apart. It was so, ridiculously easy. Because we were one person, one cat, and rip off one limb and the only thing left is an invalid with no motive to continue. Us cats, we were a team, a Pride, a _family_, and slowly, the whole thing is dissolving. Two years, and Faythe will call it quits. Bella's the only one left, but she's always brushed aside her role, followed her big sister's footsteps. Nobody cares anymore, or at least that's what it seems like. Hell, I don't even know if I care.

I was almost in Forks when our cousin, Charlie, called me. I had always had this vague dislike for Charlie – he was strong-hearted, powerful, and could have meant so much to the Pride. Instead he chose to work for the lowly humans as the Chief Police officer, always concealing his identity, shirking from the responsibilities that should have been his; responsibilities that he could have handled with so much more maturity than I could.

"Hello?" I answered the phone. "What is it?"

"It's Bella, she's missing," Charlie said, his voice dripping with confusion.

"How is that possible? Did she display any signs that she planned on running away?" I asked.

"I didn't think so," Charlie said.

"Don't worry, we'll figure this out. I'll be there in about thirty minutes," I said.

"Okay, see you then."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

'_I can almost see it_

_That dream I'm dreaming but_

_There's a voice inside my head sayin'_

_You'll never reach it_

_Every step I'm taking_

_Every move I make feels lost with no direction_

_My faith is shaking_

_But I, I gotta keep trying,_

_Gotta keep my head held high'_

Sitting in the Cullen's kitchen, I placed the CD into Esme's CD player. Dark thoughts have been plaguing my mind since my first hunt as a vampire. Two days have passed, and I haven't moved from my position in the corner of the kitchen, staring at the mirrors and seeing a me that wasn't me. The Cullens keep trying to get me to hunt; they tell me that I am slowly destroying myself, but I can't. There is this fear inside me. Am I still me? Have I lost my heritage, have I lost my cat form?

I banged my head against the counter and stared at the crack in the once smooth porcelain. I dug my hand into the crevice, held crushed porcelain in my hands. I let the pieces fall to the ground. I sprinted to the corner and huddled up inside myself. "I can't take that you're doing this to yourself," Alice said, walking into the room. I looked up at Alice. I couldn't say anything to her; I couldn't say anything to this slate of a girl who I saw and when I looked into her eyes I knew that there was so much more, but I didn't know her yet, and in reality we were strangers and I was every bit as much as a slate of a girl as Alice was.

'_There's always gonna be another mountain_

_I'm always gonna want to make it move_

_Always gonna be an uphill battle_

_Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose_

_Ain't about how fast I get there_

_Ain't about what's waiting on the other side_

_It's the climb.'_

I stood up and stare into Alice's face. She held her hand out, and, reluctantly, I took it. "How is Edward?" I asked.

Alice's face broke. My crimson eyes stared into Alice's golden irises and the panic in Alice's eyes mirrored my own. For several minutes, the two of us just stood there, staring, trying to figure out what was happening and where we would go from here. He wouldn't admit it, but Alice knew from Jasper's power that Edward's arm was still hurting, and I overheard Carlisle saying that Edward looked like he had a fever, which is strange for a vampire.

I wanted to help, I really did. I should be by his side, helping him through this, like he did as I was changing. The guilt of what I did to him – self defense or not – it tearing me apart inside.

'_The struggles I'm facing_

_The chances I'm taking_

_Sometimes might knock me down, but now I'm not breaking_

_I may not know it, but these are the moments that_

_I'm going to remember most yeah,_

_Just gotta keep going,_

_And I, I gotta be strong, Just keep pushing on.'_

"Come on, let's go check on him," Alice said, smiling at me. I walk over to the radio and press the "off" button and the two of us walk upstairs.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Edward wasn't in his room. I turned to face Alice. "Where is he?" I asked, and then wondered why I cared. I had so many walls inside me, so intent on keeping others out, never intentionally, but here I was, and this is nothing I ever dreamed of.

Alice closed her eyes and zoned out. I knew that she was trying to search for Edward, somewhere in the future, where could he be, and will he be alright?

Stray Fever usually lasts a little bit less than a month, but with a vampire the process may be different. I know, though, that turning into a werecat is nothing like the change into a vampire. When a human changes into a werecat, he or she doesn't _die_ nor _lose all the blood in his or her body._ But Edward was already dead, or at least in his eyes, and well, how does it work, then? What happens? I wanted to scream, 'I don't know! Don't kill me, but I don't know!'

'_But hey, it's too late I'm already dead.'_

"Do you see anything?" I asked Alice.

Gloomily, Alice shook her head. "I keep trying, but all I get is a blurry picture. It's giving me a headache! Figuratively, of course!"

"How long does the change into a werecat usually last?" Alice finally asked after a moment of silence.

"A little less than a month, but who knows, this isn't the ordinary case. He may not even change," I said, but that's just being foolishly hopeful on my account.

"But his future is blurry, what else could that mean?" Alice asked, perplexed.

And I didn't know. I didn't have an answer for Alice. Right now, I there were answers for my own questions that I needed to search for. The answers were out there, somewhere, and they were in my grasps. I only had to reach out and take what was rightfully mine, and hope that the truth didn't hurt too much. After all, my _identity_ was on the line. If I wasn't still me, I would find a way to kill myself, because I can't live without myself.

Wearily, I walked out of the room. Alice followed me.

"Please don't follow me. I just want to be alone right now," I said.

"You're going to the forest," Alice stated. There was no question in her voice, just monotonous knowledge, weary acceptance, knowing that there was nothing she could do to stop me. I nodded my head slowly.

"Don't," Alice said. "You might slip up and kill someone."

I shook my head. Nothing mattered right now, none of it mattered.

"But you would see it, Alice," I said, and my comment had, perhaps, a snide edge that I hadn't really intended. It's just that I'm tired, tired in the way Bilbo Baggins from the Lord of the Rings was, and just needed to get away from it all, find someplace to escape and rest my mind and somehow make sure that, by some miracle, I'm still _me_.

I walked down the stairs and fled out the door, vampire speed, not giving Alice the chance to do anything about it. I ran out the door and winced as a fresh burst of wind whipped past my hair, not that it stung or anything, but it reminded me that I was alive, at least sort of, and at the moment I wasn't sure if I was that fond of the idea. I ran, not thinking of all the humans who might see me, not thinking of what might transpire if someone were to see me or if I were to run into contact with a human; that hasn't happened since my fated change, and I don't want to know what would happen. I don't want to know if I should be worried, if Alice should be worried. A pang inside my chest, something that has nothing to do with thirst, tells me that both of us should be. _Indefinitely, and maybe not entirely because of thirst, maybe not entirely because of the monster secretly - with dark, parasitic allure - lurking inside me and her and all of her family. _

The sidewalk blurred and soon I was safe in the forest, far from both the Cullens and civilization. My head was spinning, boiling with uncontrollable rage. My eyes blurred and I wasn't me anymore; I wasn't Bella. As if flicking a piece of paper away, I gripped a tree trunk and pulled it out of its earth-laden sanctuary, tossing it across the forest with simple-minded rage. I repeated the process, over and over again, destroying the forest, my ghost tears and my ghost sweat working me into a state of unbiological insomnia, inhuman insanity. With hands that didn't look like claws but worked just as effectively, I ripped dirt from the ground and crushed boulders against my skull fruitlessly trying to injure myself, maim myself, do something to crush the monster inside of me; to dull the pain that was throbbing inside my throat. Usually I would ignore pain, I had myself trained so well; I had conquered myself, I had thought so. But now my instincts were so strong, and my emotions so powerful, and I couldn't help but feel this overwhelming sensation that told me that I wouldn't be able to control myself.

But I wanted pain, oh, how I needed pain, and more than this ghost of a thing inside my throat; this burning beast consistently challenging me and tempting me with all of the Devil's sweet illusions, what heresies; what kind of pain is this, how is this pain at all? No, this is torture. This is hell, this is monstrosity, this is Edward and Alice and Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Esme and Carlisle and Lord knows what else, and of course I don't blame them because after all it isn't really Edward that condemned me to this, is it? Its whatever beast that is responsible for this fake pain, this sensation that I didn't like and couldn't even begin to comprehend.

I need pain, real pain, human pain, cat pain.

And then I broke down. No pain, no gain; I threw myself on the silent forest floor and tucked my head in between my knees and sobbed dryly. And then I had to know, the curiosity was killing me, that had to be proof; please, please, God knows that had always been my weakness, that same mind numbing curiosity that killed the cat.

I stood up and ripped my clothes off, and in a blur I was naked in the forest, alone with my daunting thoughts and my very naked eyes. I closed those naked eyes, meditated like I always did when transforming. I willed the transformation, using more will power and determination than I ever remember using before. And soon I felt the all-too familiar sensation of bones rippling and tearing and changing; the beautiful, beautiful pain that I had been so afraid I had lost. And I reveled in this pain, swam in it while I could; I had been so afraid of losing it, physical pain, and here it was, it was mine, MINE, to grasp and hold and never, ever let go of. And I never would let go of it. I never would release it. The cat within would tame the monster within. She knew how to more than I could ever begin to fathom. But she was me, God yes, God yes, she was _**me**_.

And then I ran through the forest in my cat form, overcome with the instinct to run faster than I ever had before. I ran through the forest with silent hooves, taking in the sensations the forest provided me with. I had the familiar instinct to pounce on a deer and eat its flesh, despite the fact that I knew I would have to choke it up as soon as I transformed into my hum…no, vampire….form; I didn't care; in this cat form that I was in, I wasn't thinking. Only my instincts fueled me. I trailed a herd of deer and pounced on one of them, not noticing his or her soft leathery fur, consuming all of its flesh and all of its blood, leaving nothing to rot and waste away with the wind.

I ran some more, finally finding a stream and resting my paws in the cool water. Cat's hate water: MYTH, one hundred percent myth. I love water; always have, always will. I jumped into the running water and let the water soak my fur, which I had noticed from my reflection in the stream was much lighter than it used to be. It was now a pale silvery color that I had never seen in my entire life, and although I missed my old black hide, I couldn't say with complete honesty that I didn't like this eerie, mysterious silver fur that was all mine to behold. I didn't mind. All mine, it is. All mine.

I played around in the water for a long time, splashing and purring and growling. I don't know how much time passed, but I let it pass. I didn't want to return to the Cullen household yet; I didn't want to face to everything that was imminent; everything that was soon to pass me by.

But I could only procrastinate for so long, so I meandered back to the area I had dropped off my clothes and willed the transformation back to my vampire form, feeling the sensation of bones ripping and changing and my stomach now gurgling because it didn't have the ability to digest the animal flesh that my cat form's taste buds still yearned for. My body couldn't digest it; I could sense it, and I consumed so much, and yes, I feared what was to come.

**To Be Continued…(the more reviews I get, the sooner I update, hint hint!!)**

_**I hope you liked it! This chapter took me so long to write. Next chapter will deal with Edward and Bella confronting each other, and, of course, the repercussion of Bella's escapade in her cat form! And more of Bella's family and is the SECRET in threat?**_

_**Love,**_

_**Calliope-Elizabeth**_


	10. The Calm Before The Storm

_**They say that cats have nine lives. But that was a lie, and she didn't need nine lives anyways. She just needed the one, and she needed to live it as if it would escape her any moment now. Any moment now.**_

**10.**

**BPOV**

As soon as I shifted back, I stumbled, quickly adjusting to my new body. I turned around and grabbed the pile of wrinkled clothes behind me and held them to my breast. Suddenly, I dropped them, clutching my stomach. I was nauseous, and if I thought vampires couldn't feel pain, then I was dead wrong. My eyes wandered, looking for a reprieve in the beautiful forest, finding none.

In the distance I could see a tall figure but could not make out exactly who it was. Forcing myself to ignore my nausea (my nakedness embarrassed me, and who was it wandering in the forest, and was it someone who belonged, someone in on one or both of the secrets, or was it someone I should be afraid of, someone I should be afraid for, and me the real danger?), I slipped on my panties, then my jeans. Bending down, I clutched my soiled bra and quickly secured the clasps, throwing my wrinkled T-shirt in soon afterwards.

"Hello?" I called. "Anybody there?"

I turned around and saw Edward. I didn't know quite what to say. How much had he seen? Had he seen my new cat form?

"Bella," he said. I could tell that this situation was just as awkward to him as it was to me. Before I could say anything more, though, I fell to the ground, clutching my stomach, and gagged. Edward was immediately at my side, his arms wrapped around my shoulders as I threw up the dear flesh I consumed only a few hours ago. We were both silent – maybe we didn't know what words to say, but I like to think that the silence had somewhat of a curing effect. I think we needed the silence. I think we simply needed to help each other fall into the correct pair of running shoes. And it wouldn't be that long now; no, it wouldn't be long at all.

After I had finished retching, Edward helped me up and we walked back to his big white house silently. My arms were glued to my sides; so were Edward's. I wondered what Edward thought; how much he had seen. Then I realized that it didn't matter: why should I care what he thinks? Why should I let him control my life? Yes, I was fascinated by him, but that was before. Yes, I was drawn to him, and yes, the self-degrading way he acts makes me want to run up to him and place my hand on his face and tell him that everything will be alright, that he's not a monster, that I'm perfectly fine and I love this life. Except that I can't, and not really because it would be a lie (I haven't decided yet), but because there are boundaries, and also because I know that my parents would never approve. And yes, I do care what my parents think. Even now, in this invulnerable body, I care.

We walked back into the Cullen house together but alone. "Are you alright?" I asked Edward. I had to know, and I knew that I had to help him. I didn't know what to expect, but neither did he so this had to be scary for him.

"I'm fine," Edward said. I could tell his arm could still hurt him by the way he avoided using it.

"No you're not. Your arm still hurts," I bluntly stated what I suspected was the truth.

Edward shook his head stubbornly, then sat down on the couch. I walked over to him and stared into his dark golden eyes, trying to find the secret to unlock Edward's psyche.

"Fine," Edward admitted, whispering. "But it was nothing I didn't deserve."

My still heart cried out for him. No one deserved this pain, not even Edward. Even if he had killed me and I was watching from heaven, I would have thought the same thing.

"No one deserves this, Edward," I said, and my voice was a whisper also. I sat down beside him and continued gazing into his eyes. "I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what to tell you. I wish that I could just make it right, stop this from happening. But I think something's happening to your body…turning into some sort of vampire/werecat hybrid."

We sat in silence for God knows how long. Finally Edward spoke.

"I know. Alice told me."

And Alice knows so much; she sees so much and feels so much and I don't understand how that warm heart of hers isn't beating, but it isn't and I feel like nothing in the world makes sense anymore.

"Are you scared?" I asked, holding out my hand for him to take if he needed it for comfort.

Finally Edward shook his head. "It doesn't really matter. I don't have a soul."

Is that really what he believed? How could he _believe_ that bullshit? The fact that he is questioning whether or not he has a soul – degradingly announcing that he knows he doesn't – is proof enough that he _does_. Why can't he see that?

The truth is, I have doubts of my own. I don't trust my own control, and I wouldn't be honest if I told Edward that I was perfectly fine with what happened. The truth is, I wish I wasn't a vampire. Yeah, I know that now I'll live forever, but what does that mean, and do I really want to?

But I had to fix what I had done wrong. I had to be there for Edward; I had to let him see that there is a fine line between feeling guilty and not knowing how to forgive oneself. What happened already happened, and no matter how angry I might be, I forgave Edward a long time ago. I might not be happy with where I am right now, but Edward doesn't deserve this pain. And I'm not just talking about his physical pain that I am responsible for and that he is so good at hiding. I'm talking about all of his fears and his self-hatred and I wondered how he survived for a century in this coma-like state.

"I want to make it better for you," I whispered, taking Edward's hand and squeezing it. I knew that all we could do was sit it out, watch Edward's condition get worse and worse, and finally it would all be over and not much would really be that different, neither for Edward nor for me.

Except that then we would both be lying to ourselves, and I know that there is no way my family would ever forgive me, and I know that I would be shunned if they ever found out what happened to me and what I am now, a vampire – a parasite. Is it my soul that thinks, or is it simply the neutrons in my brain that thinks, and if that is the case could Edward be right, we do not have souls?

"I'm fine," Edward insisted. But he wasn't that good at hiding his pain, and I think that if it was me I might be relieved to finally be feeling physical pain after a century of none, and perhaps it alleviates some of the emotional pain.

But Edward was even paler than he usually was and his usually freezing forehead was a tad bit warmer than usual, and Carlisle was right, it seemed like Edward had a fever and that was nothing if it wasn't my fault, but it was and is my fault, and I wished that this could end as soon as possible so Edward could be fine again and maybe even more different than before but still fine.

"This is all my fault," I whispered. Edward turned to look at me.

"Don't say that, Bella. If anything, we're even. I bit you and you scratched me. I deserved it, Bella," Edward said.

I wasn't sure if I should tell him. It was dangerous to be thinking the truth, that I wouldn't have defended myself if I had looked in his eyes, if I had known it was Edward. My heart would have melted and I would have given him all of my blood, never shifting back to my human form, giving him the best gift anyone could have ever asked for: not knowing that it was a human that he would have killed. The guilt he was feeling now….I wasn't even Jasper and I could feel it radiating off his body; I can see it tumbling back and forth in his eyes. If he could never know, if only he never found out…if only I hadn't shifted back. If only I had known that I would care so much, this much, that I would want to take away all of his pain.

But something told me it would be worse, if I admitted the truth, but my unbeating heart told me that the truth hurts but the truth unleashes many a million of chains.

"I wish I had turned around before defending myself. I think if I had known it was you…maybe I would have reacted differently. Maybe I wouldn't have defended myself."

It wasn't even that I loved him – it was too soon to say, of course, but whenever I was around him there was this feeling inside of me that said everything was right only when I was around Edward. But even if it wasn't Edward – I'm lying to myself – I wouldn't have defended myself it was someone I knew about, not a stranger. But I can't take it back now – the past (mine and his) is etched in stone and now I can only do my best effort of moving forwards. Fat chance of that.

"Don't say that," Edward said, turning to look at me.

I felt vulnerable, as if I were bearing my soul (that I may or may not have) on a platter for him. "I don't want you to be in pain," I whispered.

"I deserve it," Edward said, and I knew that any ordinary person would probably agree, but I was never ordinary, was I? "Besides, it will pass," he said.

My eyes seemed to melt when I looked in his eyes. I wanted to stroke his face, make all of his pain dissolve with my touch. Anything. I didn't care about myself; in this moment all I cared about was this fallen angel and the pain that was buried in his forlorn, guilt-stricken eyes.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

We ended up watching television together. I had hoped that perhaps the television would distract Edward from the pain. He wouldn't admit to the pain I knew he was in, except for saying that he deserved it, but from his body language I had gathered that he was in a lot of pain and, not having experienced pain for a century, he was not used to it which thus made it even harder. As much as I hated that he felt he had to keep it bottled up inside, I admired the strength he had – to herald the pain as a self-imposed burden; to keep it inside; to deny its existence.

I tried not to remember my transformation, wondering if I was the same way: had I held in my screams to alleviate Edward's mental torment towards his own transgressions?

I've said this before, but I want Edward to know that I don't blame him.

Soon, the rest of the family ended up in the living room. "We're not interrupting something, are we?" Emmett teased. I shook my head.

And the day went on.

I remember Jasper silently sitting behind Edward and I, willingly taking a portion of Edward's pain on for himself, sending calming signals to alleviate Edward's pain as much as possible.

I couldn't help but have this ominous feeling that we were in the calm before the storm, or maybe even the eye of the hurricane – everything was so calm and still and nobody moved a muscle, and I couldn't help but fear what to come. This wasn't natural, and yes, the Cullens were already like a family to me. They couldn't replace my real family, but I found that inside myself I genuinely cared about them.

I wish that the storm would just come, knock us all down already so we could just get up and start the mending process.

Some wounds are too deep, too bloody to mend. If only I had known. If only there was a way out.

But everyone says that, right?


	11. sorry Author Note

I'M SO SORRY!

MY COMPUTER BROKE DOWN (ON FINAL WEEK, EVEN)

UNFORTUNATELY MY HALF-FINISHED NEXT CHAPTER IS ON IT

IN TWO WEEKS IT WILL BE FIXED AND HOPEFULLY MY HARDRIVE WILL NOT BE TOUCHED;

I'LL EITHER WAIT AND FINISH THE CHAPTER,

OR START OVER ON THE LIBRARY COMPUTER.

IN A REVIEW TELL ME WHICH YOU WOULD PREFER, EITHER IS FINE WITH ME!

And I'm so sorry! This is the second time my YEAR OLD computer did this to me! GAHHHH!

Again, sorry!

Hope to have this dealt with soon,

~Calliope-Elizabeth


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